Ideas for posts that went nowhere
1. The girl who had never heard of Batman
– It’s funny in my head but not on paper
2. If rappers were forced to get real jobs
– It writes like a bad Mad TV sketch
3. Due to an unexpected fluctuation in time, Oprah now is forced to interview early Oprah
– I couldn’t figure out which one was fatter
4. Dispelling the myth of romantic love.. because I’m a dick
– I mostly like romantic love
5. The high school football star unsuccessfully attempts to impress a 2 year old on the playground
– Perfect button-hook passes don’t do it for an infant
6. Song lyrics that are offensive to God but actually can be spun to be pro-religion
– I really just wanted to write about “Tomorrow Wendy”
7. Ways in which I just don’t get Radiohead
– Apparently in every way possible
8. Spencer Krug
– I figure I spend enough time thinking about him, I don’t have to write about him too
9. McDonalds and Burger King merge, and it’s theoretically funny for some reason, even though they’re virtually the same place.
– There… was not one ounce of comedy behind this
10. A dissection of how the Wiggles write their music
– Greg is a dick
11. Two word search terms on google that have the least amount of hits.
– I really thought this would be funny, but it’s nearly impossible to find two word combinations on google that reveal nearly no hits. I tried:
– Thank Bang (21 million)
– Ostentatious Boom (77 thousand)
– Homeless Shitsack (115)
– Chocolate headphones (2.6 million)
– Funky Sexlog (9 thousand)
12. Business terms I think I’ve invented.
– The only one I could think of was “Logical Friday”. This is when it’s Thursday but you’re taking Friday off, so you wear jeans to work anyway because it’s a Logical Friday
13. There’s nothing funny about cancer
– Nope. There really isn’t.
14. What the fuck is with band names lately? Why are they all sentences?
– You get the gist. What ever happened to the Eagles? Now it’s all “You say Party! We say Die!” and “Clap your hands say yeah” and so on
15. Dissecting the lyrics to All Fires by Swan Lake.
– Only interesting to one person, and we’ve already spent like 6 hours doing this
16. Posting ideas for blog posts hoping that the sum is greater than the individual parts
– Apparently not