Joke goes on too long category

August 10, 2009

Aaron Neville has been drinking. It is very late at night. He makes a phone call

Linda Ronstadt: Hello?

Aaron: Linda, it’s Aaron.

Linda: I love you

Aaron:  Yes.  I love you too.  How… how have you been?

Linda: I don’t know.  I don’t know much.  I know… I love you.

Aaron: Yes.  Agreed.  We are in love.  That’s what I was calling about.

Linda: Look at these eyes.

Aaron: I can’t.  We’re on the phone.

Linda: I love you.

Aaron: Yes.  Linda.  We really need to talk about this.  I know years ago we decided that knowing we loved each other was enough but… I’m sorry.  I think I need to know more.

Linda:  I love you?

Aaron: Life is too hard like this. Yesterday I think I went to the store for milk and I ended up driving for 300 miles until I ran out of gas.  I had forgotten where I was going because I don’t know much.

Linda: I.. love.  You?

Aaron: Linda, it’s killing me.  The only reason I was able to call you was because I’ve carved your phone number into my thigh.  I’ve enrolled in some adult-education classes to try and get my life into some kind of order.  For god sakes, I found myself agreeing with the Birthers.  That’s how little I know. 

Linda: Who is this?

Aaron: It’s me, Aaron Neville.

Linda: Aaron!  I love you!!

Aaron: I know.  God help me, I know.

He hangs up the phone, broken

Aaron: … what.. what was I just doing?

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